As I look down in despair, out of the broken window, the people below me like ants amidst the burning smoke, the confusion, my heart raced as I thought to myself “what is left?”

I stuck my head out of the broken window shouting for help, gasping for air, the smoke filling my lungs up with all sorts of toxins. I wave, wave and wave for help using my shirt, looked around and amongst me is nothing but a few other people, from what I see, people slumped at their desks unconscious from the catastrophic shake caused. I cover my mouth and gasp for the last bit of air before I ran hurriedly to the office television. There was a small group of distraught people gathered around the television as they watch our building that had been terrorised, burnt and shattered; there was completely nothing left of the building except for the tragic lives of us trapped in here. If there was a way to use the lift, I would use it or even the stairs, bearing in mind that my office was situated on the 78th floor, anything to save myself. On a normal day, I could usually see the bright yellow taxi’s speeding past the red lights rushing to get to their destinations, the workaholic’s of New York speeding on their feet and sometimes, I could even imagine what it sounded like down there. As I looked down once more, I saw nothing but smoke on top of cries and screams of the hurt people inside. From what I could see, the second tower looked completely the same and I imagined what was going through their heads.

I shut out everything around me, as if I wasn’t in the building, closed my eyes and ears and thought. I thought about my loved ones and friends and what they would be feeling right now. I cried and wept as I thought about my wife, daughter and son, I was dying. Not only a physical death, but with all the thoughts going through my head, I was dying a emotional death. I thanked God for everything, especially the fact that I wasn’t amongst those that were already dead because of this attack on America. I was just bewildered on the fact that, I was still alive but eventually I was going to die.



Join the conversation! 1 Comment

  1. You provide a largely clear account, creating a believable character and showing how emotions develop. The setting plays an important role and you have shown how your character considers his fate.

    1) Look at the opening of your second paragraph – the tenses need to be made consistent. I would suggest you write in present tense, this helps to show urgency. Check sentence lengths.
    2) Vary your vocabulary.
    3) ‘If there was a way to use the lift, I would use it or even the stairs, bearing in mind that my office is situated on the 78th floor, anything to save myself.’ Alter this to reflect how trapped your character feels.


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